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A Review of Grief and Loss
By: Maurice Turmel PhD
Grief and loss are typically associated with death and dying, usually involving the loss of a loved one. But the category can also encompass loss of job, home or relationship as additional dimensions of experience. Grief resources and recovery programs are subsumed under this umbrella and are usually designed to help us with all aspects of loss.
The predominant category is loss of a loved one, of course. Death is the first thing that comes to mind when grief and loss are being discussed. But this particular experience can also emerge when we breakup with a lover, lose a pet or get fired from our employment. When the grief experience strikes, recovery is what preoccupies us the most.
Divorce, relationship breakup and death of a pet will generate powerful grief reactions. Losing one's home, employment and place of business are equally powerful in their grief and loss effects. We typically do not associate such losses with the grief and loss experience. It turns out that they do affect us in similar ways to the primary experience of losing a loved one.
This article aims to point out the many common denominators grief and loss reveals over all of the above related dimensions. We grief our loved ones. We mourn the loss of the family pet. We suffer over a recent breakup. We fall into depression over the loss of our job or business.
Whats at stake here? What is at the heart of the grief and loss experience? It is an emotional crisis characterized by deep feelings of hurt that are often masked with anger. We are feeling lost and afraid. Something precious has been taken away. We are hurting, depressed and anxious. All of these reactions are typically associated with every category of grief and loss.
We begin to see that the experience of grief and loss applies to every aspect of our lives. Learning to grieve and relieve ourselves of stress is the key to a healthy recovery. Grief work and stress relief provide the necessary bounce back for our energy and drive. Grieving, in all its varied forms, is far more common than we may have realized.
Gaining and losing are part of the cycle of life. A snake sheds its old skin so that new growth underneath can emerge. We typically see most losses as devastating when, in fact, they may be a prelude to something new and exciting. Learning to let go is essential to the process of recovery from any loss.
Our biggest loss is always the death of a loved one. On a well known stress scale, this type of loss is just ahead of divorce and moving, two more examples of grief and loss. Learning to manage our daily losses, big and small, can well equip us for dealing with the big one when it inevitably strikes. A good grief resource becomes our most valuable guide during such circumstances and will lead us toward a healthy recovery.
Dealing with our emotions is central to the recovery process, no matter what type of loss you encounter. Turning to each other for comfort and solace can bring peace and new found friendships. All times of trial have their secret benefits. That is the main lesson from grief and loss.
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