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Bullies and School Fights
By: Mary Johnson
School Fights and Bullying
Kids get to know how the rest of the world exist when they get in the school. What they considered to the normal is challenged. What they consider to be their rightful place in the world is also challenged. At home when they get into rows with their siblings, parents typically step in as the referee. When they get into the school, they are time and again in for some real shocks. At home they live with families where their behavior is similar to other members of the family and where they are valued for their eccentricities – in some cases. In other situations, things are not so hopeful and they are held responsible for things over which they have no control over or they belong to a family that is so dysfunctional that somebody should step in to rescue the youngster. Typically the family situation is somewhere in between.
When 2 worlds collide, which is a regular incident in the school, fights break out. Imagine if a child is told not to brawl ever and another youngster is told to stand up for himself and these two children have an argument. School fights break out as children defend their own belief system that they learned at home. School fights also break out as the kid’s sense of self emerges so that they can come to conclusions about who they like in their world and who they don’t like.
School is frequently designed to work on building kind and gentle ways of managing others and where a kid’s sense of self-worth is improved. If this matches with what the youngster learns at home, all can be well. If it is a original view to a child, then the child already is facing a conflict between who he or she perceives themselves to be.
School fights begin in this kind of environment and at the same time kids are desperate to be accepted by their school mates in the same way they are at home. Also the natural inclination for people to be the center of their own world is still a part of the kid’s way of being. In the old days of small communities and tiny schools, there was a smaller world to fit into but those days dissappear. In the current school sides are frequently formed and anyone who does not fit in is soon singled outandturns intothe sufferer of bullying. The want to belong is so extreme that the average kid wants to live and let live and not be part of the squad-choosing that frequently accompanies bullying. The archetypal kid does not want to be a sufferer or a bully so those in either role are mostly there on their own. The bully is unconstrained and the target is vulnerable.
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